Don't Judge Me
Written by: Trish Moser
“Don’t judge me.”
I hear those words a lot. They come at me from other moms and dads who are trying to reassure me that they are good parents. These are good people that are worried about my expectations of them.
“Don’t judge me for how my house looks.”
“Don’t judge me because my son is in time out.”
“Don’t judge me because I’ve worn this same shirt three days in a row.”
“Don’t judge me for how my child is behaving.’
“Don’t judge me for wearing my pajama pants to the grocery store.”
“Don’t judge me for feeding my kids popcorn and macaroni for supper.”
The list goes on.
I have previously touched on my disdain of other people’s expectations on my parenting, but now I’m starting to wonder how many of those expectations are only perceived?
Now, when someone uses words to tell you exactly what their ridiculous expectations might be, then you know it’s not perceived. However, let’s say that someone saw me loudly speaking (cough cough yelling….) in the parking lot of the library and I decide they are judging me as a bad parent. I am sure (in my brain only) that person expected me to use calming words and soothing tones and slow, fluid, non-threatening movements… I doubt it! Most likely, that parent is thinking, “Oh, I’ve been there! I’m gonna say a quick prayer for that mama!”
We cannot let perceived issues and assumed judgements dictate how we are going to feel about life. Adulting is hard. Parenting is hard. It’s all hard!
As soon as we let these thoughts take over our minds, we are no longer living these lives for our true purposes. Instead, we are living to please man. So, let’s say someone comes up to me and says, “I can’t believe that you would SPANK you kids. Don’t you know that only teaches them to hit?!” Now what do I do?
Ok folks, are they truly judging me? Maybe. Do they think I am a bad parent? Perhaps. Does their opinion get to mold and shape the way that I think of myself as a parent? No, it does not. My worth and value as a parent comes only from The Lord. I have surrounded myself with people that will encourage and uplift me, but they will also speak the truth in love when I am being too harsh on my kids.
You guys have to know that I screw up this parenting thing EVERY DAY. It’s not in our nature to be perfect, no matter what we do! However, there is grace unending for us. I apologize to my kids, and I don’t let that bad moment have control over my view of my parenting.
I let you all see my true parenting, the failures and the victories, because I no longer let other people’s opinions of my parenting control how I view myself. I don’t allow their negative words or perceived judgements ruin my day.
I am enough. You are enough. Don’t let other’s opinions of you control your outlook on life.
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