Dear Addict- Part 3
Written by: Sarah Mihm
Most of us who qualify for an addiction have had trauma or toxicity in their life one way or another. It doesn’t matter how mild or how major it is, it’s something we have in common. Listen to that voice in the back of your mind- if you are questioning whether or not you have a problem, it usually means you do.
My addiction? Toxicity. That was my fix. Whether it was achieved by partying, toxic relationships, drinking or trying drugs; I did what I needed to do to create havoc in the next moment of my life from the age of 15 to 27.
In my early adulthood while drinking I would also experiment with drugs. From 18 to 20 I was partying pretty hard. Because I was using alcohol plus trying a drug at the same time I was called a “poly substance abuser.” My early adult years were just that.
I pushed away so many healthy relationships because it was foreign to me. Dating and friendships, relatives, a healthy working environment and coworkers.... I didn’t know how to handle a healthy lifestyle. I just kept piling up drama and havoc. I had no idea.
I am telling you as someone who has been through toxic cycles. I am no different than you. It’s not worth it to keep going. Therapy is the coolest thing I’ve ever done; reaching out for help didn’t make me weak, it made me strong. Due to seven years of therapy I now love trying to live a healthy lifestyle. None of us are perfect. But I am incredibly far from where I used to be and I’m pretty proud of that. All of this is because I realized it was up to me to change. Maybe I could have done it alone, but it would have been incredibly hard. And, due to my constant issue of giving up on something that was good for me... I probably wouldn’t have gotten far.
I needed the right tools and guidance to walk on this journey. It’s never too late to change. No matter how deep in you are, God is always there to pull you out when you let him in. I promise you this.
It’s hard to admit when you need help. In fact, I had no idea how much help I needed. I thought all of my problems were due to a broken relationship, but it turns out that I needed help because I was broken.
I found out how much therapy would change my life. Seven years of it and I still have sessions once in a while. I also love going to AL ANON from time to time. No matter what your addiction is, or the lifestyle you are in.... you are not hopeless. Write down five things about yourself that you don’t like. Get a piece of paper and write them down.
On the other side of the paper, take those five things ... and write the opposite of each one. Now tell yourself the positives. Have a sticky note on your bathroom mirror. You are worthy, you are beautiful, you are loved by so many. You are more than enough. God believes you are enough every single day.
I am not telling you to quit anything cold turkey. I am not telling you it’s easy. It’s scary in the beginning to think you could actually live a healthy life. I am here to say that the other side of where you are still has its tough moments that everyone goes through, but it’s so beautiful and worth giving it a chance.
Call for an appointment for counseling- there are free counselors and ones that can set up payment plans. Ask the Hope Clinic for resources. Walk into a meeting if you have a drug or alcohol addiction or if you are a codependent. Are you with someone who has an alcohol or drug addiction? Guess what. You are probably an addict as well. It’s called codependency. I am a codependent myself.
Tell yourself, “Today is my first day in the right direction and I am getting help.”
I wish you luck. I hope this helped you. I hope you know that you are worth so much in life and I want you to actually feel your worth. God picked you. He chose you for a purpose. If you are on this earth...It means he still has a purpose for you to show the world. Change can be scary, but there are so many out there to hold your hand while doing it. All you have to do is take that first step ...and ask.
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